Hands up. Eyes closed.

I remember one of the first times I went on a roller coaster. My head told me to be scarred and worried but somewhere underneath that, there was a sense of adventure and excitement and it was a feeling I hadn't felt in many other situations. The fear was due to the fact that for 60 or so seconds, I was out of control. I had to sit in a seat with a buckle that I hoped would keep me safe, on tracks that I hoped were sturdy, and I had no control over either of things. Not everyone loves roller coasters, there are probably a whole bunch of reasons why, but I think the most common is that for a little bit, you are out of control. You aren't the one driving the car, decided where to turn, how fast to go, when to stop. You put your safety in someone else's hands, and that is a scary thing. But, it's also one of the most rewarding, thrilling things one can subject themselves to. After the roller coaster, many would agree that the joy you feel during it shadows the fear you felt before it.

Letting go of control is one of the most amazing and joyful experiences a person can have. We hold so tightly onto our lives and dreams that when they are pulled away from us, it hurts to let go. Well imagine if we were just lighting holding onto these dreams. I am not saying let go of them, not at all, but grasp them, gently, knowing that any moment God can take it out of our hands. If we are clenching so tightly and won't let go, we will never find out if what he replaces it with is better than the first.

If you had asked me when I was a freshman in high school where I would be after senior year, I would have 100% said attending Auburn University. My families school, my dream. For a while I had this dream in a tight fist. I couldn't imagine doing anything else. But God helped me let go of that, in fact He helped me let go of my dream of going to college with my friends entirely. Just like He does, he replaced that dream with something far far better than I ever could have come up with.

If you had asked me 3 moths ago what I would be doing in the DR, what my role would be, who my friends would be here, what my living situation would be, it wouldn't be anything to close what it actually is now. But in fact, it's much better than I would have pictured it. Coming here was the most out of control I have ever felt in life, and it's also been the best 2 months of my life. If I had stuck to my plan, I wouldn't have the joy and peace and love that I'm experiencing and receiving now.

So stop living life with your hands tight on the wheel, gripping your own plans. Live a little. Let go of it. Let God be in control. Live life with your hands up and your eyes closed. God will take care of you, and you will find joy and life in this like you have never experienced before.

My fingers hurt typing this

"Chikungunya (pronunciation: \chik-en-gun-ye) virus is transmitted to people by mosquitoes. The most common symptoms of chikungunya virus infection are fever and joint pain. Other symptoms may include headache, muscle pain, joint swelling, or rash."

This is the official definition from the CDC website of the interesting virus I have contracted. No need to worry, it is far from life-threating. But, it has but me in a great deal of pain. I started having back pains last wednesday. I didn't think anything of it until it spread to my shoulders, elbow, and neck on thursday. By then I had informed the family and we didn't jump to conclusions but kept an eye on it. Friday by the time i got home from soccer, it was full fledged joint pain in places I didn't even know I had joints. The fever and headaches Friday night also gave it away. Ankles, wrists, back, neck and fingers are the worst because they are the most used joints so I feel them the most. Saturday we were all planning to go up to the North Shore to go surfing but obviously this wasn't in my best interests. I still wanted to go to the beach and being as stubborn as I am I went to the beach anyways. I took a bottle of Tylenol, my hammock, a huge water bottle and a blanket. I rolled into the car at 7am Saturday and didn't wakeup until we arrived at almost 10. In a matter of minutes I was back asleep in my hammock on the beach. Luke, Chase, Jackie and Vic all spent the rest of the afternoon surfing and we headed back home around 2. We got home right before 5 and i hopped back into bed. I didn't wake up till 8pm that night. All day Saturday I had a fever on and off. I haven't had a fever yet today so that's a good sign, the pain is just as bad though. 
Pray that this virus will leave my body ASAP so I can get back to playing soccer and hanging out at the orphanage like I have been for the past month. I am positive that God is allowing my body to have this so that I can better understand the Dominican's lives and culture. This summer most people got this virus and had to go to work with it so that they could continue to support their families. I can barely get off the couch I couldn't imagine having to go to a manual labor job everyday with this. In these moments of sickness I am even more grateful for where I am. I am blessed to live with a fantastic family who continues to make me laugh in my pain. Vic asked yesterday "Neilly, i know you have Gunya but can we make jokes about it?" There is nothing that made me happier than him asking that. My family knows better than anyone that joking in times of pain of discomfort is my specialty. I get made fun of 24/7 and it makes me feel like I really am at home. I am also blessed to have the access to Tylenol, ice packs, comfort food, and the ability to take time off and sleep, which the majority of people with this virus do not have. 
I truly appreciate your prayers but there are tons of adults and children who need them a lot more than I do right now! I am so grateful and happy where I am right now and I wouldn't change a thing!