"Jesus wept." John 11:35
In middle school this verse was the one I would memorize when we had to do a "pick your own memory verse quiz". It was the answer to the classic "what's the shortest Bible verse" trivia question.
But now, this verse holds much more meaning to me.
I knew coming home would be hard. I knew it would be a difficult transition and I would miss the Dominican and its people. But one thing I didn't expect- grieving. Grieving to me sounds like a really harsh word. In some aspects I could even understand how grief could be seen as a bad thing. Grieving is of no use. It only makes you dwell on the bad things. We need to focus on what we are blessed with and not be so self-centered! Right? Wrong. Grief is a deep sorrow. A type of sorrow that even our Savior experienced. When I expressed my sadness and longings to my mentor she quickly suggested that I look into John 11. In all honesty I didn't really know what that passage contained besides that infamous verse. Man was I in for some deep stuff.
On the surface these first 44 verses seem very normal. I mean besides a man being resurrected, nothing too out of the ordinary. But I dove deeper into it. I read it in different translations, read commentaries on it, looked up definitions of words, even read it in Spanish to see if I could squeeze anything else out of it. What I discovered was incredible and forever changed my view on grief and what it entails.
The passage opens with sisters Mary and Martha sending word to Christ that "he whom you love is ill." Jesus immediately responds to their message by saying that "This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it".
Wait what? Let me read that again....
"This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it". If I'm reading this correctly, Jesus right out of the gates tells them that first off, the illness that their brother has will not end in death. Secondly he tells them that what he is doing, is to bring Glory to his Heavenly Father and himself. Martha and Mary need not worry because well simply stated, this isn't about them. This is about God and what he is accomplishing on earth through his son Jesus Christ.
Oh. Well okay then why do we even need the next 40 verses if we already know that it doesn't end and life, and it's not about us anyways? Cause we are human. Mary and Martha were humans. They were selfish and doubting and couldn't see past themselves and their grief to see that God was working on something outside of their comprehension. If this isn't a perfect example of the flaws in our flesh then I don't know what is. Jesus literally straight up told them to just chill and that he had it under control. And yet they still were worried.
Even worse yet, he reassured his people 3 more times that he had it under control and Lazarus's life was not ending there. In verse 11 he tells his disciples that "our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep but I go to awaken him." I mean c'mon guys. He literally says that the dude is asleep and he's going to awaken him. The disciples had known Jesus long enough to know that he was the kind of guy to use metaphors such as sleep to exemplify death. That seems pretty clear to me. But no, two times is not enough reassurance for our simple minds.
Twelve verses later, Jesus is back with Martha and once again says it as clear as possible, that "your brother will rise again". Ok so the sleeping metaphor may have been a tad confusing but this, this is not foggy whatsoever.
As humans we immediately assume we know everything and have all the right answers, which is exactly what Martha does. She says "I know that he will rise again int he resurrection on the last day". This part truly got to me because so often I do exactly what Martha does. Jesus tells me something and I said "yeah yeah I know I know" when in reality I don't know. I'm assuming I know what he's talking about, but I'm not really listening.
Skip down a couple verses and Mary arrives, weeping.
The "weep" being used in the context of Mary was the Greek word "klaio". This is a very simple, direct translation for weeping. Also to be read as a "wailing", deeply upset and hurt by the loss of her brother. Seeing Mary in such a terrible grief, brings an interesting response in Jesus. It says he is "deeply moved in his spirit and greatly trouble". But these words are far from sufficient when trying to encompass Christ's feelings. The Greek word used here is "embrimaomai". The definition of this word is similar to the "snorting of animals" but in a human context. Commentaries say that a better phrase to describe what Jesus was experiencing is that he "become angry in spirit and very agitated".
Why was he agitated? Was he mad at Mary for her little faith in him? Maybe, but more likely, he was mad at death. He was furious with death and loss and its effect on his children. He despised seeing his daughter and friend in such distress. He hates death, he hates the sadness and grief that it brings along with it. He hates to see his people morn.
The following verse is so simple yet contains so much power.
Jesus wept.
He wept. Jesus, savior of the world, creator of all things good, weeps. But thats not even the most interesting part. Remember that the word that was previously used for "weep" in Mary's context was "klaio". In Jesus's case, the word used for weep is "dakryo". This word holds a whole different meaning. It is a sadness because of empathy. A distress brought upon by witnessing someone in distress.
When I read this it began to trigger lots of thoughts in my head. I mean first and foremost Jesus knew he was about to raise Lazarus from the dead so why would he be deeply mourning for his death? So when reading the definition of this alternate Greek word it began to make more sense to me. Of course he wasn't crying because Lazarus is dead! But that doesn't mean his sadness is any less intense. He is still grieving but for something different. He is grieving for us. He is grieving for our grief. He feels our pain. He may not be feeling the exact pain we feel of losing a child, or a spouse, or a parent, or to grieve moving to another country or even another state. But he grieves just as deeply with us.
In the final few verses of this passage, before resurrecting Lazarus, he once again reassures Martha that his plan is greater. Jesus requests that the stone be rolled away, and Martha once again responds like she is already one step ahead of Jesus and informs him that the odor would be terrible considering he had been dead for four days. Patiently, Jesus responds to hear by saying "Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?". He wants her to trust him so badly. He would love to hear her say "Yes Lord, I'll do exactly what you ask because I know your plan is far beyond me." But she doesn't, and neither do I. I can't remember the last time I consciously decided to follow what Jesus tells me to do, grief included, despite what I think is best. Reluctantly, Mary asks for the stone to be rolled away and Jesus, in all his deity and glory, calls Lazarus out of the grave. That's a pretty epic ending. Through all the grief and sorrow, he does not abandon them. He keeps his promise. He is patient with their little faith and continues to provide.
This passage is loaded with tons of great lessons but there are two that really stick out to me.
1. God is good all the time. All the time, God is good. In our deepest moments of sorrows, we must remind ourselves that any and everything he is putting us through, is to one day, bring glory to his name. It may not be when we want or expect, but through it all, Jesus will be glorified. So the bad things that happen in life, death, loss, brokenness, well they just aren't about us. They effect our lives, tear us apart, test us, but they aren't about us. They're about God and the fact that in the end of it all, people will look to him and say "wow God is good".
2. Grieving is ok. When something tragic happens in your life, do not be afraid to grieve. Cry, yell, be angry, cry some more, but let it out. Do not turn off your emotions in tough times. If you try to turn off one part of your emotions (the ugly, crying side) then you subsequently turn off the good part of your emotions as well (the joyful, happy side). With no grief, we feel no joy. With no sorrow, we feel no relief. With no death, we feel no life. Life is not a buffet of emotions and circumstances where we can put the easy, good ones on our plate and forget about the gross ones. We get them all. The good, the bad and the ugly. It's all included in life.
So when something sad happens to you, cry about it. Jesus is crying too. But don't forget, he's seeing the big picture, not us.
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